just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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