By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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