yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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