yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
