i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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