got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
