I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
