i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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