I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
