But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
