Acid is not a monday night drug
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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