Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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