i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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