i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
