walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
