god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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