you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
