You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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