i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
