you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
