How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
