How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
