She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
