How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
