This girl is more easily done than said...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
