I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
