If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
