think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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