Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
bring money and cleavage
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
