We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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