Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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