I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
