You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
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