Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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