Rock
Scissors
Fuck
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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