I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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