once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So many bounce houses so little time
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
