Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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