I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
