used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
