I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
