Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
