why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
