Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
