69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
