Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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