based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
