Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
