She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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