His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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