im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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