dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
